New Laptop..

Lately i've been spending money like i got it like that..  Well i've been spending credit.  It's ok i can pay it all back eventually when i go back to work.  No biggie.  I don't know where nate and I stand seeing as we slept together the other night a week after deciding to just be friends.  I was hopeful something would happen but never actually expected it.  The best part about it was he had his head buried in the bed under my arm and very lightly said "I missed this."  It took me a few seconds to soak in the face that he said that and i whispered to him "me too."  My new sponsor has posed some questions to me regarding nate and I like the idea of him and i do have feelings towards the guy.  If things don't work out between us I can see he and I being good friends.  But things can also work out in my favor for a relationship.  FYI I am NOT good at relationships.  Writing a fourth step sex inventory made that crystal clear.  Actually while i was writing it i wanted to cry a few times.  One night i had to stop or i thought i would get super depressed.  On the bright side one of my motivations to go to the gym was to get nate to notice.   HE DID.  I enjoyed our time together and I enjoyed the closeness and I'm doing my best not to fuck up.