I'm actually keeping up on this.

I don't know how long this is going to last writing in here semi-regularly but i'm trying.  Not too much has been going on.   I got yet another reminder (spiritually or cosmically) to slow down my rushing to be in a relationship.  In all seriousness it IS something I need to learn to do.  So I might get to see him today, and I might not.  This time away though is good.  I have things i have to get done.  I've been going to the gym regularly again.  I'm finishing my fourth step to get ready for five i think sunday.  When he and i first starting hanging out i weighed 212.  I went up to 219 and even one day weighed 222.   As of this morning i'm back at 212.  THANK FUCKING GOD.   I'm ok gaining weight if it's muscle or healthy.  This was unhealthy weight i put on.  Oh and I did end up getting my parakeets.  I got two.  One is almost all white with a touch of baby blue on his underside and I named him Glenn.  And the bitchy one that bit me and wouldn't let go is almost all yellow with a touch of green on her underside and i named her Olive.  Blair said Glenn Coco and Olive Oil.  haha.  But today i'm giving a shot at catering.  I met a woman at a book study and she offered it to me.  I jumped on it.  I love serving.  I was told this is nothing compared to restaurant serving.  I don't have to remember anything.

So all in all i'm still doing ok.  My birthday is coming, Christmas is coming, and Star Wars is coming.   Nate will be my movie date that night.  It kinda made me a little weird.  We went to see the hunger games the other night and he sat pretty (uncomfortably) far away from me.  I told him last night i wanted to hold his hand during the movie and he said he doesn't do pda.  He asked if i do.  And i told him not kissing or holding hands where people can see but out of sight i like to.  Then when the conversation starts to get uncomfortable i change the subject.

I'm on episode two of Star Wars.  I'll be starting episode three tonight.  Anakin was a smooth mother fucker in some of episode two.   And some of it he was creepy.  When he started rubbing her arm that made my skin crawl.  Mostly because she gave no indication if it was ok or not.  But what got me was when he said she was exactly the way he remembers her in his dreams i'm like whoa really.  I'll post more later.  I gotta get ready for work.