Yes i have had profiles on dating sites. And even not having facebook i know that one option for a relationship status is "it's complicated." But with this passed weekend I don't even know. Saying "It's complicated" would imply there's actually a relationship. The last talk Nate and I had a few weeks ago was that he didn't think it was a good idea for us to see each other. Since then there was one night that we hung out and it was just friendly. We watched tv. Which is pretty much what i needed. I needed to get the uncomfortable feeling to go away. If he hadn't invited me over that night to watch tv and eat with him i probably would have done what i normally do. Been really distant with conversations and eventually just stopped answering. A few days passed since that point and he invited me over again and this time "stuff " happened. I think what's happening now is we're getting to know each other. I enjoy that. Some of the things he does for me is he takes away my insecurities. He does it without even trying. Physically I've always been insecure. The crazy thing is the part of me i don't want him to touch is the first part he seems to enjoy the most. When i get dressed/undressed in front of him he looks at me like he's enjoying the show and gives me a MMM every time. He's not the kind of guy you would ever really think is gay. It's just the way he looks at me. Plus, he's smokin hot. HELLOOOOO. His cuddle game is still on point.
So this weekend I ended up spending both Friday and Saturday nights with him. Saturday i had something to do but Sunday didn't have anything to do til 7 at night. We laid in his bed all day. At one point he got up to have a bowl of cereal and came back to bed. He passed out on my chest and i watched a movie on my laptop while he napped.
We haven't had "the talk" yet about where we're heading. And i'm not even sure we are heading anywhere. Maybe we're just two singe gay men enjoying each others company. I enjoy his company very much. I'm trying my best to heed my sponsors direction of not being in a relationship until after I've finished my 7th step so i'm not exactly in any rush to put a definition on the relationship we have. But i'm absolutely sure there's potential. His decision for us to not see each other happened for a reason, and it's giving us the time we need. I've been praying for help with this too. (i didn't forget to do that)
Two things I've been told since the beginning of my sobriety:
-Everything happens for a reason.
-I'm exactly where I should be.
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