Banana Bread with Oat-Streusel Topping

Ok so I sometimes hate having to wait for things. People in front of me to move into traffic, baked goods to cool off, the commercials on the DVR never go fast enough. Well I decided banana bread this year. Giving a shot at new things is my game for now. Every recipe I've seen says to use brown bananas. I'm impatient with this. I have bright yellow bananas. I look online and I said screw it.. I'm gonna do it my way.

**I have to warn you.. I don't measure brown sugar. I guess when it comes to that one thing**

Preheat oven to 375°. I used 4 bananas and a granny smith apple. chopped it all up and put in half a stick of butter in pats on top with four small handfuls of brown sugar.



this is what it looked like after



Then this..

• Banana Apple mix
• 1 tsp butter (since we already used butter in the apple mix)
  
• 1 cup sugar
  
• 1 egg, beaten
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• Pinch of salt (i just shook the shaker a few times)
• 1 2/3 cups of all-purpose flour

Method

No need for a mixer for this recipe. Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). With a wooden spoon, mix butter into the mashed bananas in a large mixing bowl. Mix in the sugar,and egg. Sprinkle the baking soda and salt over the mixture and mix in. Add the flour last, mix. Pour mixture into a buttered 4x8 inch loaf pan. ( I didn't pay too close attention to the order the ingredients went in but was scared the egg would cook in the bananas, I put it in the freezer a few minutes kept stirring and added the egg after the sugar.)

I have this thing for white chocolate chips. I threw a couple of those in the middle.

I decided to add the Streusel topping to it but the recipe called for quick oats which I didn't have but my roommate happened to have some instant apple oatmeal so I just used one packet of that..

**This is enough streusel topping for TWO loaves of bread**

To make the streusel topping, mix 1/4 cup of cut-up butter, 1/2 cup flour, brown sugar, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, and oats in a bowl until crumbly. Use half on one loaf and the rest on the other duh..

Bake for 1 hour. I baked it on the rack second from the top. Cool on a rack. Remove from pan and slice to serve.

And.. finally that's what it looked like.. I'll post later what it tasted like but I have no fear in that it's good. The batter was amazing. I added the banana because I saw online that if you put apples or tomatoes with your bananas they'll help them ripen faster.. pfft. i got duped. The bag smelled good is about it. Try it and let me know..

The best pineapple dessert you'll ever have.. I think..

So there's this pineapple stuff I make.. If you try this recipe let me know.. Originally it was "Cherry icebox cake" from my aunt and the original recipe is. Besides, I like lower fat, sugar free ish type stuff AND.. no one knows the difference because everything tastes sweet even the avid sweet eater can't tell. (my friends are avid sweet eaters haha ) I never named it.. I just call it that pineapple stuff I make.

1 package graham cracker
2 packages vanilla pudding (and stuff to prepare it)
2 small tubs cool whip
1 can cherry pie filling

I'm gonna put how I make it now but you'll get the gist of it.

2 packages sugar free Cheesecake Pudding (using skim milk)
2 small tubs fat free whipped topping
3/4 bag of small marshmallows
2 packages or 2/3 of a box of graham crackers
1 20 oz can crushed pineapple Drained

In a medium to large bowl I make the pudding according to the cream pie directions. I don't even let it set the entire five minutes. A minute or two will do in the fridge. I add both tubs of whipped topping. It doesn't need to be smooth by any means. Then I add the marshmallows. Usually I use a 9x13 cake pan but whatever pan you have big enough will do. I have a Pampered chef picnic server that's see through (all about presentation) that I used this last time and it's great. On the bottom of whatever pan or carrier you use, crush as many packages of graham crackers you like. The cake pan I use, I usually use one but the PC server used two. So graham crackers on the bottom, pudding mixture on top, then the crushed pineapple. I find it better the next day when the pudding mixture had time to setting into the graham crackers but let it set a few hours and it's the best ever.. Super cheap and a lot of my friends LOVE IT.

Progress not Perfection...

Letting go and going with the flow is hard.  Since I was a kid I needed to be one step ahead, always.  I needed to know what was going to happen next.  Later on, I found out that the reason I needed that so much was so I could manipulate it to take care of my own needs.  These days it's a whole different story.  When I think about it, I don't try to fix my own problems.  Well in a sense I do try.  But in trying what I do is ask for help.  I ask people in my life for help with what goes on with me.  Now dealing with other people is outside of my scope.  I hate being stuck between two points.   Not exactly neutral but wanting to know one or other other.  I mean like knowing whats going to happen next or being better off not knowing.  Life is experience and it's those experiences that help us grow, right.  No one said it was going to be easy.  Actually, no one said anything about the whole deal at all.

I don't know where I'm going with this I really don't..  just a rant I guess.. 

Trust:   Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
Faith:  Complete trust or confidence in someone or something.
Suffering:  pain in a broad sense, is an individual's basic affective experience of unpleasantness and aversion associated with harm or threat of harm. Suffering may be qualified as physical or mental.
Suspicion:  A feeling or thought that something is possible, likely, or true.
Integrity:  The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

I don't quite see myself as suffering other than when I put myself through it.  The best way I can put it is my thinking causes suffering because the idea of loss in trust, and loss in faith by questioning their integrity.  Because..  (here's the kicker) I'm not in control and I don't know everything.

Let go.. 

Everything happens the way it's meant to happen despite me.

I'm not in control...

"There is a principle which is a bar against all information,
   which is proof against all arguments, and which cannot fail
   to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—that principle is
   contempt prior to investigation." 

This entire entry was written for one person...  Me.  I can vent in my blogs.   Sometimes my entries are just for me.  Though I know it's connected to my twitter and no privacy on it so it can be viewed by anyone, which is what I was reminded of recently by my new "friend".  


Me:
I make mistakes
I can try to do my best though there are times even that may be too much
I will try to never judge, though I may do just that accidentally
Even when I have the best intentions I may do the wrong thing
When I'm wrong it might sometimes be hard to say but I'll try


**Like usual this entry totally went in a direction I didn't mean for it to..  Originally it was titled "going with the flow"  I guess in a weird way it's still that but the new title fits better.**

Muffins of course...

I don't know what it is about working out and baking that gets me all fired up but.. I made muffins.. like usual.

I used a box of jiffy Golden yellow cake mix (following the directions), and added half a can of apple pie filling (used my Pampered Chef Chopper to make it look like apple pie filling from mcdonalds, you know what i'm sayin), half a can of pumpkin pie stuff, and 3/4 of a package of sugar free cheesecake pudding... I also used three sprinkles of cinnamon, one sprinkle of ginger, and one sprinkle of clove. Now to make tarts or torts.. one of the two, PC gave me this little wooden thing to make indents in.. Well I also have Cream cheese frosting so I'm gonna make an indent in the muffins and put some cream cheese frosting in that bad boy.. Trophy wife/trophy husband.. potato.. po-tah-to.. right?? You want one?? I'll post pics online..

2 for 1 today... My birthday wish list....

So with the impending doom of my childhood years aka my 20's.. I turn the big 3 0... There's so much more I wanted to do when I was in my 20's.. I can't think of any of that now but I'm sure somewhere there was something I wanted to do. Now I have one month and 17 days to complete it all. But with that incredibly short list that I can't remember I think it's all over and done with. Oh yeah birthday presents..

I just realized I don't really have a list of things I want for my birthday.
I like the thoughtful things I get from people.
Today isn't about what I have but who..

So if you don't know enough about me then here's more maybe you could sift through and find something that might suit the occasion. Nothing at all is ok too.

I workout, I drive a car, I like to cook, I like to have things that save space and time but rarely use them, I'm a medium or small large size shirt, I like mostly leatherish bracelets but lose them, i have algae eaters, I like sugar free monsters or 2x rockstars, and that's all i got..

It might be a weak post but guess what F.U. If you don't like it don't read it. =P

Insanity workout and Chocolate Milk and TV

Ok.. So I started the insanity workout October 24th. And if I follow it exactly (I accidentally did the wrong workout one day already) then I'll be done on Christmas day. Well I take a fit test on Christmas day to see what happened n 9 weeks. Do you know what takes place between now and Christmas day. I have 1 big event coming, 1 I won't say small but just other event coming, Thanksgiving, my birthday, then Christmas. So I started to think this might be the wrong time to do this workout but then I was like fuck that... this might be the perfect time. I do a fit test every two weeks to see what the results are. P.S. I slightly pulled my back.. (slightly that I couldn't stand or sit but felt better when I stretched and worked out). But it's not really all that bad. I get super sweaty and I feel like a million dollars after. I guess it helps that I was running at least 5 miles a day every day all summer and working out. So doing this particular workout and lifting goes together. BTW.. I CAN'T STOP EATING!! I just can't.. When I do a hard cardio workout and do a lot of lifting I'm pretty sure I could eat all day long.. I actually sometimes have to drive somewhere just to get out of the house to stop eating. **

On the information it says after the workout I should drink is the recovery drink. Umm.. I didn't even spend money to do the workout let alone spending 120 bucks A MONTH for the recovery drink. So what did I do? Went to my old friend google. There's people everywhere that wanna get out of spending money why not this? So I typed in the recipe and found a guy that replied with this for that question:

"Chocolate milk is the best. I know there will probably be some skeptics out there. However, if you Google chocolate milk for workout recovery, you will see tons of studies done on it. It has got the protein you need and the simple carbs you need after a workout. The perfect protein to carb ratio."

SOLD!!!

**Backtracking** I at least eat healthy when I go on a hunger rampage..

Lastly what have I been watching on TV?? I think I might have mentioned what I watched before but in the past couple weeks that's changed a bit. There's a guy that I guess has become a really good friend lately so If you have my twitter then you know his name probably already. Anyway, we hangout all the time and we watch these shows together and with my roommates. The only reason I mention him is that I probably wouldn't have gotten into some of the shows but he was really amped about some of em and in the end I ended up getting hooked on them too..

1. American Horror Story - all of a sudden there's too many dead people but still definitely worth watching
2. Beavis and Butthead - they weren't funny before but now.. totally funny.
3. Glee - still a fav and I like how the story is starting to include the winners of "the glee project" (though i didn't watch that show I still like to know what's going on)
4. Once upon a time - I'm gonna give it a good shot but for some reason I think it's gonna crash and burn.
5. Grimm - I dig it.. But I loved/love charmed and Buffy so a guy stalking monsters... yeah totally up my alley.
6. New Girl - Hate the intro but love all the characters and it's HILARIOUS
7. Dance moms - Even though the season is over, it was a good season. Even my roommates liked to watch this, they said for the MILF's (Once in a while they'd blow their cover by remembering a dance so-and-so did and how they are better than so-and-so.. MILF's my ass...)
8. Russian Dolls - Jersey shore Russian style.. All the girls are catty.. the guys are pretty good looking but not much of the show is based on them.. it's all good.
9. Good vibes - haven't actually watched it yet but the commercials look funny so it's being DVR'd

Did my workout for the day.. no weights today so I'm done.. Job hunting and oooh I'm doing pampered chef stuff at a bazaar at the Native American Community Services this weekend. Let's see how this goes..

Shut it!!!!

Since I'm told I don't update this often enough, if you'd like an update then you have to remind me. Yup.. That's how it's gonna be. I update when I have absolutely nothing else to do and I have a ton of time to do it.. which also means that I'm done playing with youtube and twitter. Yes.. I do get bored with both of them after a while.

Lately in life..

I'm mostly working out again. My running has gone down to nothing. I wanted to run the turkey trot this year but I'm seriously re-thinking that.

Still looking for another job.

Still dating..

Nothing else is really going on and I'm good with that.

What is and isn't going to make me happy...

I figured it was time for a little update. Did you ever have an idea of what was going to "fix" everything and make you happy and when you got it found out that that wasn't it. That's what I'm going through right now but it's not getting me down. I guess more or less it's just making me grow. There's a few guys that I've hung out with and through all of them I've found out dating isn't going to make me happy. I don't get fulfillment from it. I've come to a realization that it's not what's missing from my life. I almost said it makes life a little more worthwhile but I'm still not sure of that. I'm content right now with my life. I like the idea of sharing my life with someone. But I have many friends that I can do that with. It's not gonna happen when I want.. Or from what I already know.. It won't happen on my time.. But I'm positive it will happen when it's meant to happen..

One of those moments on one of those days...

There comes a time and place when at some point every person should think, "I was wrong." There was a 19 yr old that I went on a few dates with back in February. Now to start, that's totally not my style but it was about the time i decided no matter what I'm if they wanna go on a date I'd go just because what I wanted turned out to be not what I wanted. We hung out 3 times. Our first date was Spot Coffee.. He kept looking around the room.. I didn't think he was interested. The second date which surprised me was he went to the movies with me. Didn't touch me ... I think our arms touched once. Well 3rd date was a movie at my apartment. We cuddled and ended up kissing and "stuff" and I told him I didn't think he was interested. He replied with "when we went to Spot you made me nervous. And when we were at the movies you didn't touch me. I kept telling my friend I didn't think YOU were interested." I told him how at the movies I wanted to hold his hand and this is where it all ended.. He made the mistake of trying to be cute-sy with me. He said "awww.. I'll hold your hand now..." and proceeded to hold my hand. I didn't think there was any coming back from that until recently.

Out of the blue yesterday I decided to text him and see if it was still his phone number and give it another shot. Cause hey.. he was totally pretty.. way gay.. but also totally pretty. So he replied and we started talking. This is the kicker.. I have insecurities.. My physical insecurities are the worst.

Backtracking....

Since I was a kid I've always been the almost chubby kid. even through middle and high school I always weighed at least 210. I was never really happy with the way I looked yet did nothing about it. In January of 2010 I decided I wanted it to be a brand new year. My jumping off point was I changed all the food I ate and almost immediately lost fifteen pounds. I was happy with the results. So next step obviously was to start working out. I went to a gym and talked with a woman there and she told me I can lose weight by working out. So I totally didn't buy a membership but instead started investing money into weights. I started out slowly in my room and slowly accumulating more stuff. In the summers I run. This summer I'm up to four miles a day (which reminds me I still have to go today) and in the winter I workout.. Fall and Spring I do both as a transition. As of today I'm 178 pounds.. ish. I wear better clothes, I'm athletic.. yet sometimes in my head I'm still the chubby kid I've always been. Some insecurities take longer than others..

Done backtracking...

So as we're talking I tell him "I look a little different since you last saw me.. I lost a little bit more weight." he replied with "I never really thought you needed to." I slammed on the brakes... He actually liked me for me.. The kicker?? He's now seeing someone but still wants to hang out as friends..

The 20 yr old that I was hanging out with for a while I finally got rid of him today.. I keep deleting him on foursquare and he keeps re-adding me. I asked "really.." and he replied. I asked why and he said why do you keep deleting me. I told him we don't talk or hangout anymore. He says "you hangout or talk to EVERYONE on your foursquare." I said "No but you and I did and we don't anymore, so what's the point." He called me a baby. If it was wrong or not of me to say this I'm not sure but it was what I'm feeling. I said "ok.. you want the big boy description... I lost interest in you. We have no friendship and the only communication we have is when you comment on my check-ins on foursquare. So to re-iterate.. What's the point?" He stopped talking to me. The funny thing is I'm 29 years old. I'm gonna be 30 in december and I have this 2o yr old in charge of me. He'd say yes lets hang out and I'd drive my happy ass 40 minutes to pick him up and bring him to my apartment only for him to say when we could and couldn't talk and/or hangout. I had no say in it.. I liked him and I let him take me to that point.

I'm a goodlooking guy, with a job, a car, an apartment, I pay my bills, and I don't need that. I really don't.. I'm an adult. The even funnier thing is that I still want to apologize yet I think my heart is telling me I'm better off without him.

The one guy I didn't want because of a simple act and stopped seeing liked me for me, and the one guy I wanted to be with I never figured out. I don't know if he wanted to be with me or if that would even work.

These two situations made me think a lot. Then last night happened. A few months ago I had a friend who I saw once at wegmans and I was wearing my old work uniform and dodged him cuz well I looked like crap. He's cute.. ok he's kinda hot and I always assumed out of my league. I talked to him online and he found out I ran and wanted to run with me. He became my running buddy. We only went a few times and one night he invited me over for a movie. Nothing happened. Well last night I didn't think much of it but we talked and I was gonna see if he wanted to watch a movie since we hadn't hung out in a while. I told him at one point I wanted to cuddle and he said "as long as your just cuddling and keep your hands where they should be you can come over..." I told him yes. Then he said I could spend the night.. I told him OK.. We kissed and cuddled and had a good time.. I had to work today so I got there around 12:30 and left his house at 6:15 this morning. Still kinda tired but worth it. Let's see where this goes if anything at all.. Maybe it won't go anywhere and it was just two friends who needed some affection... I def enjoyed myself though...

Quote of the day.. "We are the makers of our own misery."

So the question of the day is as follows.. Are things working out the way their supposed to or are they working out the way that I want them to?? And, is that one in the same or no? It seemed to me that things were working out the way I wanted them to which totally made me happy. I was let go from a job that I kind of wanted to get away from for months. It made me happy.. I haven't been this happy in a long time. What happens.. The funds started to get low and I was reminded.. I'd be taken care of.. No not a creepy daddy type, sicko. A friend. Well I get a new job that may be a job that I wanted but is it for me or am I settling. Am I limiting myself just because of my financial insecurities? I don't know. That's what's been bothering me. We are the makers of our own misery. Is there something better that I'm shutting off because this job that I have is simpler and was easier to obtain. Or is it the job I'm meant to have? It's not permanent.. It's a stupid serving job. Though it is something I enjoy doing. I enjoy talking to people. It's like putting on a small production with every table. I think I like the attention too. "This is your captain speaking... Just listen to everything I have to say and we'll land safely." Sometimes it's totally demeaning but then there are the times when it's all worthwhile. I've said it before and I'll say it again.. It brings back my faith in people. Money doesn't rule the world though the power of it can't be dismissed. If I wait on a table that doesn't leave me a tip but was a total joy to take care of I'm OK with that. It also points out to me that I don't have people figured out. In the light of I can go to a table and because some people are just jackasses and don't know how to interact with human beings that I'm gonna get a shitty tip. Their just hard people... Sometimes I'm not the nicest guy.. I'm just not. I don't have an intention on coming off as a dick. I don't attempt to even be an ass. But sometimes I do come off that way. So back to what we started with. Surrender or not? I guess we'll know when the time comes. Also, ask and you shall receive has surfaced. There's more info on the job that I have now that might just make this an OK gig. No worries about tomorrow. I have direction.. I have guidance.. I have people that care about me.. I'm loved.. The things I want aren't the things that are missing in my life.

I have everything I need...

Tomorrow will be a good day...

Ever wanna know the music I work out to?? Here it is....

My workout Playlist.. Don't worry for the ones that I wasn't sure if they were something someone reading this wouldn't know, I've added links to the youtube videos. =)

Black Eyed Peas - Pump It
Black Eyed Peas - Boom Boom Pow
David Guetta Feat. Akon - Sexy Bitch
Deadmau5 feat Rob Swire - Ghosts N Stuff http://youtu.be/h7ArUgxtlJs
Dev Feat Cataracs - Bass Down Low
Lady Gaga - Disco Heaven http://youtu.be/Hb7L3ZEg_K4
Lady Gaga - Disco Stick
Far East Movement Feat Snoop Dogg - If I was you (OMG) http://youtu.be/IT3TP1ifpcs
Paul Oakenfold & Brittany Murphy - Faster Kill Pussycat http://youtu.be/kU81dxEpKuk
Britney Spears - Hold it against me
Katy Perry - Hot & Cold
LMFAO - I am not a whore
Black Eyed Peas - Imma Be
Jennifer Lopez Feat. Pitbull - On the Floor http://youtu.be/t4H_Zoh7G5A
Jennifer Lopez Feat. Lil Wayne - I'm into you http://youtu.be/IgLcQmlN2Xg
Lady Gaga - Bad Romance
Nelly Furtado - Maneater
New Boyz Feat Dev & Cataracs - Backseat http://youtu.be/herLMUn2-U0
Black Eyed Peas - My Humps
Missy Elliot - Pass that Dutch
Richard Vission & Static Avenger Starring Luciana - I like that http://youtu.be/UtQbENQ4Zk0
Black Eyed Peas - Rock that Body
Beyonce - Video Phone
Yoalnda Be cool & DCUP - We no speak Americano
Britney Spears - Womanizer
Black Eyed Peas Feat Esthero - Weekends http://youtu.be/cnYiQ2FVG8I
Katy Perry - Waking up in Vegas
Katy Perry - Teenage Dream
Britney Spears - Til the world ends
Ke$ha - Fuck him he's a DJ

Time apparently doesn't heal everything.. Wreckage of the past..

There was a good friend of mine that I thought about a lot the past few years. We didn't leave off on good terms but (almost stupidly) thought that if I saw him that things would after this long be ok. It wasn't... He was the best friend that made an uncomfortable situation comfortable. Well he made it less uncomfortable at least. I went on road trips with this guy, he was good with my family. I fucked up... He was a really good friend, always was. And I fucked up. I'm not completely sure I know where this entry is going. In the beginning I thought I wanted to go back. There's nothing to go back to. It's probably good for both parties that we're no longer friends. I do still have friends in my life that have always truly cared about me. I'm thankful for them I really am. Those that are no longer in my life, it's for good reason. I was going to say probably, but there isn't anything really probable about it. I saw him and his wife at the Italian Fest last weekend. Her and I never really cared for each other. I hated she got to spend so much time with him, she hated that he would drop her and everything to hang out with me and our mutual friends. I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder and he turned and I said hi. He said "hi". I said it's good to see him and he replied with "I'm sorry we gotta go." She smiled and rolled her eyes at me and turned away and he turned away too. It was a special kind of hurt. All I could think to myself was, "I'll never make that mistake again." Move on, right? RIGHT!! It's been over 4 years since I've seen him. Time does NOT heal everything. I can't even be mad, which was my first reaction too. I can't be mad at him because he's still mad at me. I just can't. That's stupid. What I can do is just keep doing what I'm doing. The experience has, I think, helped me to attempt to move forward. It was something that I feel I was still holding on to. The day may never come that that particular person may forgive me. I can't beat myself up. I can't obsess about it. I can only move forward. That's what I have.. An experience from pain that helps me to move forward. I've come to find out (no pun intended at all) sometimes the more pain, the better the experience.

Work, dating, running, working out, pampered chef, life....

Top of the list.. work hasn't been that bad. Wish I had more hours but for how slow it's been it's understandable.

*DISCLAIMER* Normally I go back and make sure the grammar, punctuation, and capitalization is all correct but i'm in a rush. SUCK IT!!!

2nd.. dating. It's kind of off the charts and is a long drawn out conversation of all that's happened over the past few weeks. but it's more of a sit down and drink coffee for an hour and talk convo. not a post on here and all over twitter type of deal. THOUGH any of my twitter friends. if you really wanna know the deal. feel free to message me. If you can read this I'd be happy to chat with you. Mostly because I love talking about myself and a little because I like meeting new people anyway. I'm no stranger to meeting people on the internet.. I haven't been chopped up or anything yet.. no worries..

3rd RUNNING.. I have at least one new running buddy. and for the past few weeks i've been running two and half miles a day. There were a few days in between that i missed but have been doing pretty good on the front. I've only been running a few times with someone and we weren't at the same pace so it didn't really work out. This new friend of mine said he liked that we were pretty much at the same pace and interesting to talk to on both sides and wants to run again. For me, it made the time pass by really quick. It wasn't a daunting task like it is sometimes.

4th working out. My workouts have gone down to nothing. in the winter i didn't wanna workout in the basement so i brought a few weights up to my room and i was just doing dumbbell stuff in my room and all of a sudden i was full steam ahead and my arms were looking pretty nice if I do say so myself. So when I started running a few weeks ago my workouts went down to nothing again.. but as of last week same thing. I brought a few weights to my room and lookin good again. we'll see how the rest of the summer goes.

5th Pampered chef. yup.. kind of like selling avon but not. it's kitchen utensils and I wanna do it. My former manager invited me and it was fun. I only ordered like one thing but on the order form it asked if i wanted to host a party and/or become a consultant and I said maybe to both. The lady explained it and she said she thinks i'd be good at it. SOLD!!! yup i'm hosting my first pampered chef party on july 14th in my new apartment (i'll post about that in another blog when I have the pics to post) at 6 PM. If you wanna come aka spend some money.. let me know.

6 LIFE!!! ok things are good. ish.. nothing really to complain about that isn't anything I can't get taken care of. No no ones gonna be "sleepin with the fishes" but it's stuff I let get to me that i'm not taking care of. In the mean time I'm moving into a new apartment. I have some new friends. been on a few dates. lookin for a new job. it's all good. sometime in the next few days once the internet gets turned on in the new apartment i have to post the new pics and blog about it.

Its slow...

Im at work and nervous about a dinner date on saturday.  Full report this weekend..

On my lunch break..

I dont really have anything to blog about..  This is totally out of boredom..  Though I do have to say I'm getting hooked on foursquare..  I add random people all the time...  Eh..  At least I remembered to blog something right?  Plus it takes way too long on my phone to type anything of real substance...  Comment though...  Say hi...  Oh and I'm totally hating on guys again...   But thats fine...  Itll happen when it's time...

From the app.. From my bed...

Lets see how long this app lasts...  Blogging from my bed, before sleep. 

What I almost posted and this is what it changed to...

So I almost posted a favorites list but then realized I could only think of 3 of my favorite things.. which at some point I'm sure will come out in this particular blog entry.. ok so I'll at least post the 3 that I could think of..

Favorite song of all time: Pump it - Black Eyed Peas
Favorite Movie of all time: Dawn of the Dead (newer version)
Favorite TV show: tie between Charmed and Buffy (comes with the turf)

Yes I'm sure there will be more favorites that'll pop up that will get posted but for now things are pretty good in life in general. And I, of all people, know that it sucks to hear how good someone's life is when you think your sucks. SUCK IT!! What I'm saying is that it's good today.. Who knows what'll happen tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow I'll think my life is completely shit but there's a good chance it won't. Today I'm happy with the things I have, the people I know, and the place I'm at. There was a "friend" of mine that I talked to a while back and the more I told him about my life, gave me the vibe that it wasn't good enough. If you tell me you're happy with the things you have and the life you lead I, in turn, will be happy for you. It's true... Who am I to say that your life isn't good enough. And by who's standards anyway.. Needless to say I never spoke with that "friend" again. Everything happens for a reason, right? Enough about that... mini-rant.

Favorite Food to binge on: Chinese
Favorite Chinese food: Fried Dumplings
Favorite thing to do in summer: lay in the sun (I turn a real pretty brown color)
Favorite thing to do in the winter indoors: pajamas and a movie
Favorite thing to do in the winter outdoors: snowball fight

I'm gonna post this and my friends who know me might know who this is and some will understand what I'm saying and I can't even figure this out but a guy that's been there for me said something to me that made me feel loved. (think I just figured it out) but he went on his honeymoon and I got a text saying "Just wanna let u kno ur the hardest person to shop for just so u kno" So when he got back from his honeymoon and we were walking to his car to get the things he bought for me he says "do you have any idea how hard it is to shop for you? Even for Christmas I spent more time looking for a present for you that I did for my own wife."

to the guy that said that.. You might never read this but in the off chance you do.. thank you, you mean a lot..

Sappy stuff out of the way...

Favorite cologne: Very sexy for him by Victoria's Secret on the shirts, Vertical for men by Victoria's Secret on the wrists and neck..
Favorite coffee drink: Five shot skinny iced latte
Favorite song to workout to: Rock that body - Black Eyed Peas
Favorite cookies: Oatmeal Raisin (oatmeal chocolate chip)
Favorite Youtube video: http://youtu.be/bG7moLe6_rU
second favorite youtube video: http://youtu.be/X-Igd-85PDg (I LOVE the look on her face)

oh and those are real links.. not viruses.. some of my computer geek friends might be reading this...

that's all for now.. like I said.. If your gonna read it.. make a comment and let me know some of your fav's too.. I'm gonna go workout right now.....

Sending out some sweet Oscar Wilde quotes

since @charsetter doesn't like me re-tweeting a bunch of things i'm gonna put it in one big blog.. Part I

-I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

-Over the piano was printed a notice: Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.

-Appearance blinds, whereas words reveal.

-He is really not so ugly after all, provided, of course, that one shuts one's eyes, and does not look at him.

-It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

-Life imitates art far more than art imitates Life.

-No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did, he would cease to be an artist.

-Anybody can make history. Only a great man can write it.

-There is no sin except stupidity.

-To be good, according to the vulgar standard of goodness, is obviously quite easy. It merely requires a certain amount of sordid terror, a certain lack of imaginative thought, and a certain low passion for middle-class respectability.

-I can resist everything except temptation.

-Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about it.

-My own business always bores me to death. I prefer other people's.

-Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

My Feelings are complete crap so what did I decide to do?? Blog...

Since the guy i last really dated I've been on 2 dates with one guy. My thought on this were.. I think I know what I want and turns out I didn't. Now this kid... and I mean almost literally.. he's 20.. He turned 20 the day after I turned 29.. So I go out with the kid.. And he's really gay.. like whoa gay. And well that's not my style at all. I want a man.. I want to date a man.. NO Effeminate males for me.. NONE!. But this kid was real pretty. Like real pretty and since finding out that i'm not sure I know what I want I decided in the dating game I'm going to leave no stone unturned. I should have left it the way it was..

I have a better understanding of what I'd like.. I think. I've been talking about this subject at great length with people and come up with the bottom line. or lines.. 1. I want what I can't have, 2. It's all in the chase, 3. I need to be the submissive side of the relationship. I don't want to be the submissive half.. I need it. If you talk to me about anything I'm pretty smart. I can have an intellectual conversation. But when it comes down to it. I look forward to "Let's go eat at ______." or "let's go to the movies tonight I wanna see ________" I need a dominant side. But like was pointed out to me when I stupidly once said I need to completed. It's not completeness I lack. Or fulfillment for that matter. I ask to remain teachable in all aspects of my life. I'm looking for the supplemental piece of my life.. I may not be 100 percent but it's not a person that'll make me 100 percent.. that'll just take work on my part. (BTW who knew I had so much to say.. totally didn't think this blog was gonna be this long..)

I don't want to blame anyone for my dating life, nor brush off the blame of hurting someone in that I have faults. I had/have no intention of hurting anyone especially the last guy i dated.. J. As I grow and change as a person what I want changes as well.

Right now... I'm so lost as to what is happening in my dating life. All I know is it will happen when it happens. One day at a time, one date at a time... On the road to finding Mr. Right I can still meet new people and have a little fun. The only thing I have to do is figure out how to be honest without hurting the other half. When it isn't working be honest with him and myself.

(HOMO MOMENT) quoted from Buffy: nothing but a rank, arrogant amateur..

Dear Mr. right, can't wait to see you.. I've been waiting a long time. Don't worry I'm still working out and will start running soon and i'll be nice and tan so should we find each other this summer.. that'd be rad. If not.. I'll still be waiting... ~Love Randy

My new phone.. new guy.. apps.. car.. apartment.. stop steering....

This is the most exciting thing happening in my life right now... My new phone.. The Optimus V.. Virgin mobile's second droid... I went to radio shack with someone before and the guy there told me that the other droid wasn't that great... I would have believed him if he didn't work on commission. So no more than a week later and as my tax return nears, virgin mobile released the newer droid and I bought it.

What do I do with it?? I download a bunch of apps i think i need and do I?? nope.. I download em play them or use them once then delete it.. But right now the best app that i've found to keep me thoroughly entertained since Twitter is "vampires live" it's kinda like mafia wars but with vampires.. It's a good time. The other one I get, like i don't complain about it enough, is the restaurant app.. And you set up food and let it go and blah blah blah.. Yup. it's like setting up my own little virtual restaurant.

I guess it could be worse if that's the most exciting thing going on in my life... I met a new guy and just my luck he lives in Boston and works for JetBlue.. His name is Jon and he's kinda cool. He's a year older than me and he's kinda fun to chill with.. For the next few weeks he'll be here for a day or two every week.. usually monday and tuesday..

Today though was international pancake day.. and from what I remembered about it last year, there were 10 servers on the floor and 8 cooks.. today we worked with 7 servers on the floor and 6 cooks.. I thought we were gonna die. Not only were we the only restaurant in the area and mostly well known but since last years international pancake day we were down two full restaurants as well. Today went smoothly.. Halfway through the shift one of the servers had to go home but it kind of coincided with the next server that was coming in so it all worked out. right around 1 when school was letting out there were kids showing up to get free pancakes and drink water. My tips went down to nothing but there were a few that still surprised me and left a few bucks... Made me feel better about the world... That some parents have enough sense to teach their children to tip when they go into a restaurant.. I've had to text my family and tell them how much to leave their servers when their waited on. I almost always leave an excellent tip when i go out.. The only controversy is when I go to a buffet.. How much to leave then..? Well I try to leave 3 per person if they never let the drinks empty and stay empty.. If my drink was empty and stayed that way for a considerable amount of time then it's a dollar per person.. If they were good about drinks and empty plates then totally 3.. 4 per person if they were friendly and talked to me. I guess I had a little more to talk about than I thought I did.

Oh and one last thing it's been brought to my attention that I should buy a new car... Do I want to?? yes.... My biggest problem is that I don't want it to mess with my financial security... What that means to you?? I can't buy all the fun things I like to buy on ebay.. That's it... Serious consideration is at hand.. Ok no not really. but I am trying to see how the budget will work with all of it.. taking ebay expenses out of the equation will I be able to handle rent, bills, phone, insurance, gas, and food, with summer coming up the bills will get lower.. plus i think we may be moving into a smaller apartment.. The one roommate I've lived with for 3 years now is kind of on the same wavelength too. We'll see in the next few months how this all pans out..

True story... on Twitpic

True story... on Twitpic

Texting and what it was like and what it's like now..

Ok so when I first got a phone that I could text on.. it was the greatest thing ever. The bad part of the deal was when it started to turn into OCD.. When I would have conversations with people I would imagine in my head what numbers I'd have to push in order for the words I was saying back to them to be produced. And a little bit more about my old texting habits is that on a computer I can type approximately 75 words a minute so i could text pretty fast.. though ironically text faster on a numeric keypad than i can on a full qwerty cellphone keyboard. So the very very newest thing is that i can't use T9 and my phone is a touchscreen which i didn't want but i can't very well look bad in front of my friends with a slider or a flip phone. it's hard to type on a full keyboard.. still don't like it.. whoa tangent.. I'm thinking of buying a new phone.. the Optimus V.. virgin mobiles second droid.. it's time.. but i'll be giving up the keyboard totally. kinda scared but i think it's gonna happen... when i get my tax money back that is... wish me luck.. and I only updated because someone reminded me i needed to.. sometimes I need that.. at least one person reads it... right?

Nothing overly exciting

I lied... I'm seeing a great guy.. We've been on dates like it's no ones business.. coffee, dinner, coffee twice, dinner, coffee, movies, coffee, dinner, coffee, dinner and coffee.. you get the idea. kinda repetitious but i like it.. He's gonna be 30 in a few weeks so i told him when he turns 30 we're done.. (jokingly of course) and we pretty much see each other almost every day.. except 2 days where one day he was sick and one day i was sick. I swear a solemn oath to update and blog more frequently so people don't start to get bored with it. And i know there's a few people that only look at it once in a while and don't really pay attention to my tweets and crap.. Well I don't wanna find out i've been blogging this whole time and no ones reading it so i'm going to try to make an effort to start at least once a week. Which is way better that when I was in college and my acting professor told us that we had to keep a journal and write something in it every day.. it could be so little as 2 sentences as long as we did it every day.. what did i get on that particular portion of the class?? 67.. why? I couldn't do it. Well.. that was almost 10 years ago and we would assume that i'm a little better right? We'll see....