I've had those moments... Ok so I have them a lot. Not so much in the sense that "Oh my god we're gonna crash.." or the "oh my god I just won a million dollars." But sometimes it happens with just a gasp and then me realizing it's not really as great an epiphany as I at first thought. Perfect example... "*gasp* It'd be a great to go to the movies on Tuesday. No wait.. It's really short notice and someone's probably not gonna be able to come... oh well." But this time.. It was a really big thing. I'm sitting in the livingroom and we're (me and my roommates) are watching tv and I decide... "Hey.. let's see if I got any good late night emails." *it happens* We're gonna back it up just a scoche... I have no idea how to spell that... spell check says it's wrong but if you could see the look on my face you would be able to tell how much I care.. Anyway.. So I decide I'd like to go back to school. Where to begin??? Well 2 majors come up right away... I could go back for what I originally went to school for which was acting. But, as in previous posts, I'm musically inclined and love getting good attention so option 2 was Music Performance. Back in the day I enjoyed going to UB because there was such a vast array of people. There was a good chance that if I'd gone a different route that day and happened to stumble upon you.. I wouldn't ever see you again. The amount of people at that school was crazy. And I know what you're thinking and yes I am a people watcher. I love being in crowds and just watching people. So I start to think that ECC wasn't the choice for me but I needed a jumping off point to get to a school that may tickle my fancy aka Buff State. It's by no means nearly as big as UB but I'd been around campus a few times and like the atmosphere. So naturally I go online and get a school catalog mailed to me and as I open the book a big description of what I thought my life calling could be was staring me in the face. PHOTOGRAPHY... back at UB I was friends with a girl that was a Photography major and though she did like photography I didn't get a feeling of fulfillment. After simmering with that for a bit I've come to the conclusion I could make that option 4. So I need a jumping off point.. don't worry.. we're getting to the "oh my god..." moment. I say I a lot.... whatevs... Ok so I think going to ECC would be a good start.. my jumping off point... I was looking at Char's (a co-worker/best friend) course catalog and something popped out to me. Automotive... Let's get one thing straight first... I don't like to get dirty or sweaty... I don't... But I love the feeling of accomplishment. I love the feeling that I've fixed something with my own two hands. I get that feeling when I get rid of the viruses on our computer at home. haha... On the camping trip this past weekend I got both dirty and sweaty and it didn't bother me. Well it bothered me to think I might start to smell... But quickly realized I didn't care. I truly and honestly believe I might be really good at this. Is it permanent..?? Who knows... I know how I'd look at someone like me and think ok whatever. But the fact remains that I already believe I'd be really good at this and might actually enjoy it and it's being fueled by the reaction I've gotten being paired with the underlying tone of "yeah right," is almost stamping an approved sign on my decision. If I don't like automotive or it just isn't me then who cares.. I've got all the time in the world. At least believe in me... That's all... So I'm close to having my application complete and I'm months away from starting school. So the "oh my god" moment came when I do a late night check of the elusive email and receive a message from New York State Higher Education that upon reviewing my application for financial aid I am eligible. *GASP* OH MY GOD!!!! hahaha A second chance and a million options... Now if only my dating life could send me emails on my application I'd be set... haha... I know.. ungrateful. haha... But seriously... If even for one second I can really value this opportunity (life, school, etc...) for what it is.. then I will have valued it more than my previous experience. I don't feel that opportunities are few and far between... I just gotta look a little harder and be a little more positive (with a little help, that is). And for those that believe in me (and even those who don't).... Good night...
Love Always... Randy
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Yey!!!! How awesome. I believe in you Randy. Because of you I was just thinking about taking some acting classes today. I thought about how you were going back to school and thought you were gonna go for Acting or Music and it inspired me. I start dance class next week (Jazz, Ballet and a little bit of Hip Hop/Musical Theater/Tap/African). And so I thought I might go a step further and try acting. I will keep you posted on when my Broadway debut will be ;)
ReplyDelete