A business letter to the person who broke into my car

Dear Sir or Madam,
I hope the one dollar you took from my console really helps out. Had you looked further you would have notice 2 more dollars in another spot. *amateur* I'm sorry my car was such a mess.. had it been clean I would have noticed a little faster that my personal belongings were rummaged through. My first thought on entering my car this morning.. "What's this doing here??" After I realized my console was partially removed and just left there.. I'm assuming you noticed I don't have a very expensive radio and it would have caused more grief for you to have actually gotten it out of my car. Besides the inexpensive radio, I mean come on.. it only has a tape deck, those quarters you got definitely add up. Just off the top of my head I'm guessing you got about 3 dollars... and even that's being generous. It (the radio) might have gotten you a little further than the dollar but not much. Other than that you stole a knob that I don't remember having. As I further investigated I realized I have no idea there was a knob there or have any clue what it did. I believe that is the only thing that made me angry. In conclusion, I would like to thank you for reminding me to always lock ALL of my doors when exiting my car and that single dollar bills and change are worth the effort.. I'll use that bit of advice at work.
Love Always ~Randy
P.S. I'm sorry even my glove compartment didn't have anything fun/of value for you but thank you for putting it all back...